Trigger warning: Fat-shaming language, negative body talk, restricting , dieting, cursing and a healthy dose of SMART ASS.
When I’m hungry, I eat. When I’m not, I don’t. When I want chips or fried-something, I eat it. When I want salad, I eat that. Current common beliefs seem to hold that someone that is overweight like I am must eat the fried-somethings way more than the salad. I mean, why else would I be fat? It must be because I eat fried things and ice cream all day, everyday while sitting on my ass watching the idiot box. I’m probably not that bright or educated, and likely don’t know a thing about nutrition or health. I probably don’t do much exercise other than lifting the fork, going to the fridge, or ordering takeout. I definitely don’t use my gym membership. If I keep doing what I am doing, I will surely weigh hundreds of pounds in 5 or 10 years and probably die from cheese-clogged arteries.
So, what is a fattie like me to do when I want to lose weight? ‘Cause that is supposed to be my goal, right? To lose weight so I can look good in a bikini when summer comes in 5 months? So, I should probably go on a diet, right? Maybe I should also sign up for some physical program that feels like I am killing myself. Eat less, move more! That is the mantra of a “good girl,” right?
Let’s see, if I lose 2 pounds per week for the next 20 weeks, I should totally hit my goal of looking good in a bikini by summer! I could go in the kitchen right now and dump all my full-fat dairy products and anything with sugar in it. Any simple carbohydrates should definitely go, right? I mean, carbs and sugar are the devil and make you die, says the internet. Continue Reading →